I saw Jupiter Ascending and I was entertained. Keep in mind, I often do not feel the need to watch a “good” movie in order to be amused. The movie as a whole is an incoherent Cinderella Story, where Channing Tatum as a half human/half wolf looks profoundly uncomfortable most of the time and sports a mangy-looking goatee. He does have very cool rocket boots though! Mila Kunis as Jupiter has awe inspiring eye makeup, and a habit of falling from high places repeatedly only to be rescued by Channing Tatum and his rocket boots. There were scenes of long exposition about alien economics and immortality that were a bit boring. There were some scattered moments of humor. If this movie had been about 15% more funny, it would have been much better. Also, Jupiter doesn’t show much agency after being kidnapped by aliens. She gets a few punches in at the end, but it would have been nicer if she had been a more active heroine. I’m sure this could have been managed if perhaps one rocket boot rescue had been replaced with a different type of scene.

• Sean Bean is in the movie! He loves bees!
• Gugu Mbatha-Raw is in the movie! She is wasted in her role as a sardonic bat maid.
• Eddie Redmayne is absolutely committed to his role as an asthmatic alien prince with mommy issues. He was delightful.
• The supporting cast (sadly not the main cast) was nicely diverse.
• The rocket boot special effects actually gave me hope of what we might experience if the Jack Kirby character the Black Racer ever shows up in a movie.
• The costumes were gorgeous.

Overall, this was an adequate matinee/dollar theater movie. I think it is better seen on the big screen so one can appreciate all the baroque spaceships. I wish the script had been better, it would be nice to have a non-comic book/franchise science fiction movie to truly appreciate.

Rocket boots!