I do regret that since he is dead, I can’t vote for Frank Zappa for president.
I can’t vote for Lex Luthor, since he is evil, fictional, and already won.
The First President of Japan probably doesn’t fulfill that pesky “born in the USA” rule. And is also fictional, as is Wesley Crusher.
If I wanted to vote for a non-human, I could vote for Cthulhu
Cusack stopped the Cusack for President campaign.
Maybe I should just pray or fast instead of voting. But what about Satan?
Or I could turn to Dave Barry.
9:35 pm on January 28th, 2004 1
Well, obviously if we drafted Wesley, he would be hard to beat. Who could stop “PRESIDENT CRUSHER”???? But man, Dio would be sweet, too. There’d be a mechanical fire-breathing dragon in the White House, and laser beams…and how cool would it be to have a Pres who opened every press conference by flipping the Devil’s Horns handsign?
Or perhaps they could be convinced to join forces into an unstoppable juggernaut: Crusher/Dio ‘04. That ticket would stomp Bushco like a bug.
10:28 pm on January 28th, 2004 2
The world would be a much better place if we had a giant mechanical fire-breathing dragon in the Whitehouse.
11:11 am on January 30th, 2004 3
I’m voting Dio, no question. You can see his stripes but you know he’s clean.